An Open Letter to America

trump4Dear America

Our relationship is over. Please delete my number, unfriend me on Facebook and un-tag me from all of your photos. In fact, it might be best if you never mention we were friends to anyone, ever. I would prefer you pretend you don’t know me because, you know, it’s pretty embarrassing for anyone to know how close we once were.

I can’t totally forget the good memories, but your disgraceful behaviour has tainted them. I grew up thinking you were like this cool older cousin who always made me laugh and who I could trust to be brave whenever I needed you. You always had the good guy winning. The aliens were always defeated, the asteroid never once destroyed the earth, the bomb got close to going off but never did, the super-hero always saved the day, and the story unfailingly had a happy ending. That’s what you got me used to. That’s the image I have of you in my head. That’s what I was brought up to expect to happen. It was always so satisfying to see the brave and the strong battle adversity and come out on top. You taught me so many great life lessons; to never give up, to always believe in myself, and to do it all with a cheesy self-confident grin. But all this is ruined now. In the place of love and affection, all that is left is hurt and regret for ever trusting you in the first place. You’ve become a mean, nasty, racist, woman-hating, bitter, twisted shadow of your former self, so much so that I hardly recognise you. You’ve betrayed me so badly, I promise I will never trust you again.

We thought it was a joke at first. You know, like your crazy habit of building up all the tension, and then at the last minute, sweeping in and saving the day. But this time, this time it’s turned into a nightmare. When he said he could shoot someone and people would still vote for him, well, we were a little surprised he still got the nomination after that. We gave you the benefit of the doubt and we watched the debates and after that, it was obvious he just wasn’t cut out for the job and we were sure you agreed with us. The wall building, and the racism, and the hatred, and the division, we thought that was totally the opposite of what you were like. Then came the pussy-grabbing, and particularly us females, well we were hurt and outraged that he was even given a chance to excuse that behaviour because frankly, we thought we were all way past this boys-will-be-boys defence for sexual assault. And the lies, America. The lies were so blatant and so constant. We thought you were against lying and cheating, because we’ve always been taught, from a very young age, that liars and cheats never prosper. That bad people don’t win? What happened to those values America? What happened to truth, fairness and being good? How have you lost your way so badly?

From where we’re sitting, it was more than a little suspicious that he wouldn’t release his tax returns. He quite clearly hadn’t paid any tax, but somehow you guys over there didn’t really seem to mind. Then the contractors started lining up, telling us all about how he conned them out of the money he owed them, and how he sent their small business broke. He went on and on about his amazing business skills, but all this defied logic when it was so clear his fortune wasn’t anything like he said it was, and his father had bailed him out every time he lost everything. If there’s one thing we knew about you, it was how much you love business success, so you can imagine how confusing it was for us to hear about all his failures, but for you still to claim he knew what he was doing? You never seemed to ask for details and always believed he could just wave a magic wand and make everything ok. How has this happened America? How could you possibly all be so stupid? How did you not ask for details? How did you take this weirdo at his word? How did you never check the details?

But right up until today, call us suckers, we kept the faith in you. We kept saying that it would all work out in the end. We trusted that maybe you were a little lost, but that you would wake up and you would say enough is enough, this can’t be good for everyone, and that justice would prevail after all. No matter how unhappy you were, we thought you’d find a way, together, to make things right. We never thought hate would win over love. You’re the ones who always showed us this could never happen. You’re the reason we believed you would do the right thing.

After reading this, you can understand why we’re so disappointed in you, and must sever all ties going forward. We would have liked to have enough good will left to wish you well, but unfortunately after the way you’ve disregarded our feelings, our fear of nuclear holocaust, and our economies which still haven’t got over the last time your sub-prime-mortgage scandal screwed us all, we haven’t anything nice left to say to you.

We do feel sorry for all of you who fought hard to stop this happening. If any of the good-Americans would like to find homes somewhere else, we’ll do our best to accommodate you.

To the rest of you selfish fuckers – you deserve everything you get. Enjoy your evil, lying, cheating, ugly orange-man hampster-head making all your laws and screwing all your lives. The fairy tale America is dead. You’re dead to us now. Welcome to your own self-made Armageddon.

Yours sincerely,
The rest of the world


  1. Thanks for putting my thoughts to words. I’m too depressed to write anything coherent for that long…
    Now, we need to stick together, help each other survive this…
    Since the US is no longer our source of heroics, let us turn to Middle Earth…

    “It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass.
    A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer… Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something…That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”

    • No, don’t be depressed! I’m elated beyond description. This Trump presidency will be great spectator sport, live on your TV. Watch the man self-destruct, and his grim knuckle-dragging supporters being forced to realise what an offensive bloviating fraud he is. Got my popcorn in already. Can’t wait! Let the show begin!

  2. As a lifelong Democratic Party voter who voted absentee ballot for Clinton, I can attest that the nightmare for America with a likely degradation of the world economy, and certainly with the ever-increasing likelihood that the human race will be extinguished by global warming.

    As with the election of Tony Abbott, buyer’s remorse will ignite with extraordinary alacrity, but the Americans will have their noses rubbed in it for the full 4 years. Even if 70-something Trump resigns due to ill health, the Vice President Mike Pence is a fanatical evangelical who will pursue all of Trump’s loony policies in order to get the Republican Prez nomination in 2020.
    At a minimum, the Supreme Court will become a stronger force of extreme rightwing corporatist ideology.

    As for the reasons Trump won, notwithstanding that Clinton’s still on track to receive a greater
    share of the national popular vote, the most telling are:

    The FBI Director’s unconscionable letter and then his rogue agents feeding bogus leaks to the media throughout the final week, especially Fox News reporters who spruiked the lie that Clinton was being indicted just four 4 days ago.

    The great majority of television/radio networks who made it possible for Trump to run a relatively inexpensive campaign by giving him an unprecedented free amount of airtime due to his outrageous freak-show and flim-flam boosted their profits. CNN was an egregious Trump promoter until it became obvious that what they created was indeed a powerful monster.

    A few percent of Bernie Sanders supporters voting for Green Party candidate Stein or staying home. This is arguably the difference that gave Trump narrow victories in at least Florida and Pennsylvania.

    The Trumpesque narcissist Julian Assange exacting personal revenge against Obama and Clinton by distributing her Campaign staff’s private emails hacked by a foreign government, not justified in the way that, say, a whistleblower like Snowden’s documents might be justifiable.

    The relentless Republican state government’s suppression of non-white voters which reduced their turnout in many swing states.

    In the end, however, you get the country you deserve. The real tragedy of Trump’s victory is that the rest of the world now gets an America that they didn’t deserve.

  3. Btw, I didn’t mention the blatant racism, sexism, homophobia and xenophobia of Trump’s fanatical core supporters which comprise at least 40 percent of voters. They are essentially the same 40 percent that Obama was able to overcome twice, but now these 40 percent have been given permission by Trump and the Republican Congress to go the full mongrel. There will be a whitelash, especially by Police departments, of epic proportions which will have unimaginable consequences.

  4. Your Majesty, there is no such place as America, I cannot find it on my globe. We are talking here about a country in North America, named the United States of America. The citizens of that country (USA) have confirmed yet again that they are the largest collection of rednecks and hillbillies on Earth.

  5. Just some facts for you: 1. The President of the United States doesn’t make law. He can’t even introduce bills to Congress. 2. The fairy tale of America has always been just that – a fairy tale. Being dead to you might be a good thing because such a statement is pure Trumpism. Nice to know the US isn’t the only place such behavior exists.

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